


Happy is a Pill for the Faint of Heart

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Bitterness, Dubious Consent, F/F, Incest, Masturbation, Mind Control, Podfic Welcome, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 18:57:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20935127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Vanya and Allison have a drink, and discuss some things.





	Happy is a Pill for the Faint of Heart

Allison was pretty no matter what she did.

Well, no, that was a lie. 

Sometimes she was beautiful, or cute, or glamorous.

Vanya, with her slightly greasy hair and stained button down, tried not to be too resentful. It took some work - she had a well of resentment sunk so deep inside of her that seemed to never go dry. Allison had her own problems, her own insecurities. Allison was good at appearing put together, but she was just as much of a mess as the rest of them. 

Vanya knew, in her heart of hearts, that she needed to be charitable. Needed to be _nice_, because if she kept holding on to all of her resentments from over the years than so would everyone else, and then nobody would get anything done. She knew that, logically, and she knew that Allison wasn't being beautiful and funny and charming _at_ her. 

It was still a bit galling sometimes. Especially when Allison was sitting on the couch with her feet drawn up under her, her long skirt pulled over her knees. She looked boho and just off some photo shoot, her golden hair tumbling around her shoulders, the lamp catching the gold highlights in her skin just so. Vanya tucked her own stringy hair behind her ear, and she took another slug of her drink. 

"But then I told him that while I was sure that it was a great plot, I didn't want to be in any movie that I had to be naked in," Allison said, and Vanya more or less snapped back to herself. Allison had been telling a story about some kind of Hollywood thing. Right. 

"That must've sucked," Vanya said, and she tried not to sound too toneless, or too mad. Why was she even mad? Was she mad? Having feelings was complicated, and Vanya was getting very tired of trying to figure out if she was having the right ones at any given moment. 

"I'm sure you've been there," said Allison, her tone sympathetic. "I read somewhere that a lot of classical orchestras have a rather rampant sexual harassment problem." 

Vanya shrugged, and she looked down at her drink, uncomfortable. "I, uh... I haven't experienced any of that," she said. “I know it’s a real thing, but I get ignored for that kind of thing.” She gave what she hoped was a nice smile. “I’m just lucky like that.” 

Allison opened her mouth... and then closed it. She had probably been planning... who even knew what. Vanya doubted Allison had ever been ignored in her life. Which was probably exceedingly unpleasant in its own right, but after Vanya's latest string of bad dates, she was feeling less than generous. 

"People don't notice me," Vanya said, and she must have been spurred on by the alcohol, because she sat up a little straighter and made eye contact with Allison. "Nobody notices me," she repeated, and even as she said it she was aware of how ridiculously melodramatic she was being.

"I'm sure plenty of people notice you," Allison said soothingly. "Didn't you say that you had a date last week?" 

Vanya snorted. "That didn't go so well," she said, because she didn't want to go too deep into the details. It was embarrassing enough for a guy to last all of two minutes inside of her. It was even more embarrassing when she couldn't even get herself off afterwards, since he had just... left. At least this guy had been able to get hard - the one before that hadn't had any luck in that department. And then there had been that cute pillow princess who hadn't even tried to make Vanya come, and before _her_ there had been... Leonard. Which she very pointedly didn't want to think about right now. 

"What happened with him?" Allison leaned in closer, and Vanya tried not to stare down the front of her shirt. Allison was very beautiful and Vanya was beginning to climb the metaphorical walls with sexual frustration. 

"He... we didn't work out," Vanya said. Did Allison ever have to deal with sexual dysfunction? Vanya emptied out her glass, and stretched out, until her bare feet were almost touching Allison's thigh. 

"Why not?" Allison swirled her own drink in her glass. 

Vanya was going to say something like _sometimes it just happens like that_ or maybe _we didn't have the right kind of chemistry_, but what popped out instead was "he didn't last long enough." 

"Didn't last - _oh_." Allison put a hand over her mouth, and then she was giggling. "Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing." 

Vanya shrugged, and she reached for the bottle. "Hey, at least someone can get some enjoyment out of it," she said, and she poured herself a generous... what was the unit of measurement for alcohol? Her head was a little too fuzzy right now to remember. A dram? No, that was something else. _Dreams by the dram_, she remembered from something she'd read when she had just moved out, and read so many books her father had forbidden. 

"Didn't he... take care of you afterwards?" Allison seemed to be about to make a hand motion, then stopped, looking faintly embarrassed. God, she looked gorgeous, even like this. 

Vanya shrugged again. Her shoulders were going to get tired, at this rate. "It's... I..." She cleared her throat. "Sometimes getting to the... finish line takes such a long time that a lot of folks are less than interested in getting there. Or I don't even get there in the first place, no matter how much work I put into it.”

“Oh,” said Allison. “Well, uh, there are things that can help. Y’know, exercises, stuff like that -” 

“No,” Vanya interrupted. “I know all about that stuff. It hasn’t helped me.” 

Allison was still leaning forward, and her expression was intrigued. Vanya wasn’t sure she liked that look. She didn’t like the idea of being another one of Allison’s projects. “Have you tried all of the options?”

Vanya shrugged. “I’ll be fine,” she said, which was a lie, but it wasn’t like Allison would be able to help. 

“I could… I mean, what’s missing?” Allison set her glass down. She was scooting closer now, and her hand was on Vanya’s leg. “What do you need, specifically? Do you have a… y’know, fetish? A kink? Something like that?”

“Allison,” Vanya said, and she put her hand on top of Allison’s. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to push it away or hold on tighter. She was skin hungry enough that it felt like her nerves were _singing_ under her sister’s hand. God, that was pathetic. _She_ was pathetic.

"Sorry," said Allison, and she withdrew her hand. Vanya tried to pretend she didn't miss it. "I just... y'know, I know that's a thing that sisters do together. They help each other with things." She was giving Vanya a perceptive look that Vanya didn't entirely understand. 

Vanya shrugged. "We're not very good at being sisters," she said, which was probably a low blow, but she wasn't feeling charitable. She didn't particularly like the way she was feeling right now, but she couldn't seem to _stop_. Her eyes darted up to Allison's face, to watch what happened, and she hated how... gratifying she found it to see Allison's face fall, just a bit.

... wow. She was an utter _bitch_, wasn't she? 

"We can always do better," Allison said firmly. "There is always room for improvement." 

"Right," Vanya said, and she cleared her throat. She needed to kick Allison out politely, go to bed. Maybe she'd sober up, make an apologetic phone call the next morning. 

"What's keeping you from... y'know, getting there?" Allison tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and Vanya tracked the movement with her eyes, and tried not to blush any harder.

"Oh, y'know," Vanya mumbled. "The usual stuff." She stared up at the ceiling, trying to formulate an answer, or possibly a way to get out of the conversation. 

"There isn't a "usual stuff" for this kind of thing," said Allison.

Vanya sighed, and she leaned back into the arm of her couch. She let her feet press against Allison's thigh, and she didn't even jump when Allison's long fingers wrapped around her ankle. "I... don't like having to do all the work," Vanya said. "Having to... y'know, plan it, or tell someone what I want, or figure out what they want." Oh god, she was _talking_ about this. Fuck. "Since Leonard -"

"Harold," Allison interrupted, then blanched when she caught Vanya's expression. "Sorry." 

"Since all of that," Vanya said, "every partner I've had has been, uh..." She shrugged. "Less than assertive."

"Assertive," Allison echoed. Her hand was moving up Vanya's leg, and Vanya was breaking out in goosebumps. Allison had to feel it under her fingertips. "And you want to be less assertive?"

"Something like that, I guess," Vanya said weakly. "And I haven't had any luck... y'know, getting myself off. For whatever reason." She shrugged, and she was still blushing. She didn't blush pretty, either - she always went blotchy. 

"I could... help you with that," said Allison. She was looking sidelong at Vanya, and she was biting her lip. "If you're that stuck, I mean."

"Allison," Vanya said, and now she was giggling. Ugly giggling, and she nearly slopped her drink onto her chest. "What are you thinking?"

"I could help you," Allison repeated, stubborn as ever. Sometimes Vanya forgot how stubborn her sister could be. 

"Allison," Vanya said, and she took a sip of her drink. The heat of it sank down into her chest, and it spread open like a flower. "I don't know what you're suggesting."

"I could just... well, you want someone to tell you what to do, right? To be assertive." Allison's glass was very loud when it was set down on the coffee table, and Vanya was tangentially aware of the fact that she was making the windows rattle in their frames. "I could help with that."

"I'm too... I can't just do that," Vanya said. "What you want." Her heart was beating very loudly, and the tension in the air was drawing tighter. 

"Why not?" Allison sat back, and she was wearing a familiar pointed expression. "You said you wanted to do what someone told you, didn't you?"

_Had_ Vanya said that? She couldn't remember now. Maybe she was drinking too much. "You're my sister," Vanya said, but she was aware that wasn't much of a defense these days. She knew what all of their siblings had gotten up to, when they were all kids. They probably still got up to it now, as adults. 

Allison shrugged. 

"And... I'll feel weird," Vanya said, and she probably should have been more embarrassed over the fact that she was more worried about that than the whole incest thing. 

"Why?" 

"Why what?" Vanya probably shouldn't have snapped.

"Why would you feel weird?" Had Allison always been this damn _stubborn_? Probably, actually. 

"Because you're my _sister_," Vanya said. "My straight sister. My straight sister who has never shown any kind of this kind of interest in me before." She felt a bit like she was talking in circles, which probably wasn't helpful, but what else was she going to do? She looked at the plushness of Allison's mouth, the elegant line of her profile, and she tried not to let her heart get any fuller. 

"I'm sorry," said Allison. "I'm... not as straight as I thought I was." She paused, then; "I can help you feel better." She was avoiding eye contact now, but her hand was _still_ on Vanya's leg. 

Vanya wasn't sure how she felt about that. About any of this. "What, about me feeling weird?"

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do, rumor the bad feelings out of me?" Vanya snorted. Then she caught the look on Allison's face. "Oh my god, is that what you're thinking?"

"It's just a suggestion," Allison said, defensive. "I mean..." She licked her lips.

"Is this about you wanting me to actually have an orgasm, or is this about you missing using your powers?" Vanya wasn't sure if she was mad or not. If she was mad, she wasn't sure _why_ she was mad. 

"You should try it," said Allison. "Just to see if you like it." 

"I can't really decide if I'm going to like it, if you're going to make me like it in the first place," said Vanya. "That's a contradiction in and of itself." She was too drunk to be having this argument. Far, far too drunk.

“I won’t make you feel anything,” said Allison. “C’mon. It’ll be good for you.” 

“I still think this is a bad idea,” Vanya said, but she realized that she sounded like she was agreeing to it. Shit. 

“I heard a rumor,” said Allison, “that you made yourself come, right here.” 

The rumor sank down into Vanya’s head like a stone into a pool of still water, sending ripples through her whole body. She watched, as if from a distance, as she reached for the buttons of her shirt, pulling them open carefully. She cupped her own breast, pinched her nipple, and she was aware of Allison’s eyes on her, aware of Allison’s fingers tightening on her ankle. 

“How’s that feel?” Allison’s eyes were very bright, and her chest was rising and falling rapidly, enraptured. 

_She wants this_, thought Vanya. _But does she want me, or does she want to use her powers?_ That soured some of the lust, but it didn’t keep her from unbuttoning her pants one handed, undoing the zipper. She rubbed herself through her boxers, feeling her clit beginning to get harder, feeling the sweet tension beginning to build and build in her gut. 

“Different,” was what Vanya said, because she didn’t know how to put the rest of her feelings into words. She arched her back, grabbing her whole breast, then pinching it again. She shoved her undershirt up, and now her sister was looking at her bare breasts.

Vanya could hear her own heart beating, the rush of air in her lungs. She could the frantic beating of Allison’s heart too, the way she was panting. If Vanya listened harder, she’d be able to hear Allison digesting the dinner they’d shared, the slightly grating slide of Allison’s joints moving against each other. 

“You’re so pretty, Vanya,” Allison said. “I want to see more.”

“I shouldn’t -” Vanya began, not wanting to get a wet spot on the couch. 

“I heard a rumor you took your pants off,” said Allison, and Vanya was kicking the constricting fabric off before she had a chance to think up an argument. She was wet already, she was so wet, because when was the last time someone had looked at her like that? There was an intensity to Allison’s gaze that Vanya hadn’t ever had directed at herself, that Vanya hadn’t ever experienced, _period_. 

She hated how much she wanted it.

“Those too,” said Allison, and she indicated Vanya’s boxers. 

Vanya shuddered all over, and she was rubbing herself harder. “I don’t… I… “ She wanted to be made to take them off. She wanted Allison to want them off. She wanted… she didn’t even know what she wanted right now. Her whole head was clouded with alcohol and arousal and the sweet compliance brought on by the rumor.

_She didn’t want you for so long_, whispered some nasty part of her own mind. _Make her work for something, for once in her life._ The rumor was still ricocheting around Vanya’s head, and she humped into the palm of her hand, rubbing herself through her wet boxers. She hated how much she liked being rumored. Had it been this good, when Allison had made her think she was ordinary?

“I heard a rumor you were naked,” said Allison, and oh _god_, that made it even more embarrassing. Allison was sitting there, looking elegant and fully dressed, and Vanya was shucking her clothes off, sitting naked on her own couch. One of her legs was stretched out in front of her, the sole of her foot pressed flat against Allison’s thigh. Her other foot was flat on the floor, and she was aware that Allison could see the hot, wet pinkness of her pussy, 

“Allison,” Vanya whined, and she was pressing down one her clit now, rubbing harder. She slipped two fingers inside of herself, clenching around them desperately. She didn’t usually like to penetrate herself like this, didn’t like the mess and the way it angled her wrist oddly. But she needed it, she needed to come. Allison had said she was going to come, and she had to come. 

“How’s that? Do you like that?” Allison was shifting in place now, tensing up her thighs. 

“If I didn’t, would you make me?” Vanya wasn’t sure why she said that. Was that a thing she wanted? 

“I don’t know,” said Allison. “You said you didn’t want me to make you feel anything.”

Vanya didn’t remember that. She didn’t remember much of anything right now. “I think,” she said, “that you’re in charge. So you should do what you want.” She twisted her wrist again, and she curled her toes. She spread her thighs a little wider, and she liked the way Allison’s eyes tracked from her red, sticky cunt to her red, sweaty face. 

“I heard a rumor,” said Allison, “that you want this.” 

A wave of warmth enveloped Vanya, like sinking down into a warm bath. She rubbed herself harder, and then she was arching her back as she _came_; her first orgasm in months, and she was sobbing as she came. It wracked through her, and it left her wrung out, her chest heaving, sweat dripping down her face. 

There was a wet spot on her couch. She was going to have to clean it. She collapsed back onto the arm of her couch, her fingers still inside of herself. 

“I told you,” Allison said, and she smiled. “How was that?” The color was high in her cheeks, and her eyes were still bright. Vanya could see that her nipples were hard, and she could hear just how fast Allison’s heart was beating. 

“I… wow,” Vanya said, and she licked her lips. “Fuck.”

Allison smiled at her, slow and sweet. It made Vanya’s toes curl. “So,” she said, and she cleared her throat. “Are you all done? Or could you do some more?”

“I… don’t know,” said Vanya, and she looked down into her lap, where her fingers were still inside of herself. Then she looked up, making eye contact with Allison. “Maybe you should decide.”

Allison smiled wider, and she leaned more forward. “I heard a rumor,” she said, and Vanya’s heart climbed up into her throat in anticipation.


End file.
